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March 29, 2017

Relationships: Living the Single Life (in a Relationship)

Hola, from Tulum! Having the BEST time on this girl's getaway (follow my adventures here) and it's perfectly fitting for today's relationship post. For those of you that are currently in one or have been in long term relationship you will know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Remember those days of working out because you were trying to impress the guy next door (or yourself), actually getting sh*t done and being proactive? Well I do; I call it the SINGLE hustle. There are so many amazing things about being in a relationship but one thing that is a double-edged sword is being "comfortable."

everydaypursuits, andy and ashley, aplusavacay, relationship advice

Instead of waking up early and going for a run, Andy and I just lie in bed for an extra 30 minutes. (team cuddle!) Instead of cleaning the kitchen, going to the grocery store and running three errands on a Saturday we get a late start, take a stroll to Starbucks, grab lunch and lay by the pool. But if Andy's out of town I'll schedule a 7am Pilates class, meet a girlfriend for a smoothie, go to the grocery store, write a blog post, and start on laundry all before 12pm! I was reminded of this a few months back when I was house sitting / watching my younger sister at my parents in the Valley. That week of playing mom I woke up at 5:45am, drove my sisters to school, and worked from 7am to noon at a local Starbucks (that freelance life). I truly got more done in that amount of time then I do working 9 to 5 at home AND still had time to do a blog shoot, make it to my sister’s soccer game, and cook dinner for the fam. The MOM hustle is real - hah!  But Andy also told me during that week, he woke up early every day and ran along the beach before work…which literally never happens. Why?! 

We're comfortable. Cuddling always outweighs the gym, right? Maybe we feel like we can be lazy with our significant other because we know there are 2 of us to get things done? ie: I'm not going to take the trash out because he can.... trash sits there for 2 days. No joke, Andy and I have been trying to plan a Europe trip for TWO YEARS. Meanwhile, I can (and have) easily planned an International trip for myself in 1 day. 

I know I truly feel so great/ comfortable in my relationship that my no makeup, athleisure outfit, hair a hot mess days have just become totally acceptable.  BUT when I do get fully dressed I feel 10x better about myself and what I can accomplish in the day. When I push myself to go to pilates and eat healthy, it transforms my day as well. When I travel by myself, plan every minute of the trip FOR ME, and navigate through public transportation I come back with this feeling of "I can do anything!" As women, when we’re alone we feel empowered, self sufficient and successful when we manage to do everything on our own. You know what they say:

If you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing!

How do we implement this into our everyday life WITH our person and keep that hustle going? Here are a few ideas I have, let’s try to tackle these together! 

1. Make a Weekly Calendar - Put 5 tasks you want to accomplish that week as if it were a meeting for work you wouldn’t be able to miss. Or a hair appointment – we all know you would never reschedule that, so why not make returning a package that’s been sitting by your door for a month a priority too? 

2. Hold your Partner Accountable –  Andy and I try to discuss our weekly goals on Sunday nights - they can be related to tip #1. All goals are actionable (ie: I'm going to go to the gym 3 times this week or I'm going write and post at least 3 blog posts this week). Whatever it is, make them actionable. Saying "I want to eat healthier" isn't really cutting it. What will you do to eat healthier? Cook dinner twice a week? Only have salads for lunch? You get what I'm saying! Try to have check-ins every once in awhile to see if you're on track (this is where we always fail!). Another idea: BOTH set an alarm and wake up 1 hour earlier 3 days a week and see what you can accomplish in that time frame. 

3. Fill a Day – One day a week, even if on the weekend, JAM pack a day. We seem to always get more done when we’re already super busy and not lounging in our PJ’s until 10am. Wake up early, tackle your to-do list, hit the gym, and then treat yourself to a date night dinner to celebrate being productive. 

Alrighty, back to the beach for me! Can't wait to share some amazing looks and travel guides from Playa del Carmen and Tulum. 

Psst.. don't forget to peep my previous relationship post about balancing work + personal life especially when we are digitally connected 24/7.

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